Wing Jones by Katherine Webber

Rating: 7/10
Published: 5th January 2017
Publisher: Walker Books
Pages: 384
Synopsis from Goodreads: Jandy Nelson meets Friday Night Lights: a sweeping story about love and family from an exceptional new voice in YA. With a grandmother from China and another from Ghana, fifteen-year-old Wing Jones is often caught between worlds. But when tragedy strikes, Wing discovers a talent for running she never knew she had. Wing's speed could bring her family everything it needs. It could also stop Wing getting the one thing she wants.

Set in 1990s Atlanta, Wing Jones struggles to come to terms with the humongous amounts of heartbreak that life has dealt her and as a result of her latest blow she starts to run in the middle of the night to clear her head and low and behold she's absolutely fantastic at it!
Wing Jones is so diverse it is amazing! There are so many characters of colour (as Wing has both Chinese and Ghanaian heritage), more so than I think I have ever read in a book before which is truly wonderful! And on top of this there's an LGBT+ couple featured, which as you know if you have me on social media is something I am always keen on!

The book features so many different plots and experiences which all weave together beautifully, like, there's so much going on in Wing's life with her family, school, relationships, running etc. etc. and yet it all fits in a completely unconfusing and fulfilling way.

I'm certain I'm not alone in saying that Wing's grannies completely stole the show for me throughout this book. Their constant bickering and yet obvious reliance on each other and their importance at the centre of their family was both hilarious and beautiful. The huge focus on family and supporting one another through tragedy is something that, I think, makes Wing Jones so special.

Further to the heartbreak and general toughness in Wing's everyday life, she also develops a relationship with her brother's best friend, her first ever relationship. Considering the difficult times that they were both going through I believe that their relationship developed well and as naturally as I suppose it could given their situation (shan't disclose because spoilers!). The balance of this romance within the book was perfect, there was enough focus on it for you to feel warm and fuzzy while you're reading it but it didn't become the main focus of the plot which was really great. It had romance but it didn't make it become a romance.

Unfortunately I did have one problem with this book which was such a shame as I really did enjoy it a huge amount. I just found the ending to be so abrupt like there were about 50 pages missing. I haven't read another review where people have expressed feeling the same way but I was left with about a hundred questions and not in a good way? I felt like I had to let go of Wing and her life before I really felt like I was ready to, which frustrated me because I had become so invested! I'm not trying to say that there were plot holes or anything like that, just that I would have loved to have a little bit more to really get a sense that her and her family are getting on alright now, they're muddling through and things are looking up. In my imagination that's certainly what happened anyway! Although I suppose it could be seen as a good thing that we can draw from it what we want for her?

Anyway, overall the was a phenomenally diverse and beautiful story which I'd definitely recommend that you check out! And if you have any similar (or completely different!) opinions to me please pop them in a comment below I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Beautiful Broken Things by Sara Barnard

Rating: 8/10
Published: 25th February 2016
Publisher: Macmillan Children's Books
Pages: 322
Synopsis from Goodreads: 

I was brave

She was reckless

We were trouble 

Best friends Caddy and Rosie are inseparable. Their differences have brought them closer, but as she turns sixteen Caddy begins to wish she could be a bit more like Rosie – confident, funny and interesting. Then Suzanne comes into their lives: beautiful, damaged, exciting and mysterious, and things get a whole lot more complicated. As Suzanne’s past is revealed and her present begins to unravel, Caddy begins to see how much fun a little trouble can be. But the course of both friendship and recovery is rougher than either girl realises, and Caddy is about to learn that downward spirals have a momentum of their own.

Beautiful Broken Things is another one of those books which has been on my TBR for way too long, but I finally got around to it, having heard many good things and I was by no means disappointed!!
It has a beautiful storyline focusing on the importance of strong friendships as well as demonstrating the lengths people will go to for someone who is dear to them.

I'll admit that I found the main character Caddy annoying at times and noticed myself yelling at her "Come on!! What are you doing you plonker!!!???" but honestly I think that it was mostly in a good way. I understood where she was coming from and the reason that she made the choices which she did, even if they did make me cross! It's in this way that I think Sara Barnard really captures such realistic and relatable characters which makes this book so special. I can remember, back when I was 16/17, being in the same position as Rosie at some points, watching someone I care about a lot being swept up and making terrible decisions and saying to them "yes but you get that this is silly right?" but knowing they'll most certainly go and do it anyway!

One of the things I enjoyed the most about Beautiful Broken Things is that it deals with some really serious issues (I shan't disclose for spoiler reasons but ask me if you want to know them for your own safety etc.) in a way that is completely honest and believable. The emotions and reactions that the characters showed to finding out these things were very realistic, from my experience, and it was refreshing to see responses that were so truthful, because let's be honest people rarely understand and are able to say exactly the right things at the right times in real life!

The other thing that I enjoyed about this book is that it isn't all about boys, of course they featured because Caddie is set on getting a boyfriend and losing her virginity - which really frustrated me, I am just so unlike her in this way and there are so many more important things in life!! But the strong friendships between these girls were at the heart of this book and were what made it so enjoyable. There was no real romance, which I know a lot of people appreciate, but for me it was nice to read something where the main character didn't suddenly fall in love and live happily ever after, or spend pages and pages rambling on about how dreamy this boy is (ew no thanks)!

Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It's focus on strong females and accurate representations of teenagers making stupid choices was honest and I really loved it. I did have issues purely because I clashed in character with Caddy in some ways, but this is by no means a fault of the book I think it just happens sometimes! I can't wait to read A Quiet Kind of Thunder soon and see what more Sara Barnard has for us in the future. If you haven't already, read Beautiful Broken Things - I'm sure you'll really enjoy it.

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley

Rating: 9/10
Published: 3rd October 2014
Publisher: Mira Ink
Pages: 368
Synopsis from Goodreads: It's 1959. The battle for civil rights is raging. And it's Sarah Dunbar's first day of school, as one of the first black students at the previously all-white Jefferson High. No one wants Sarah there. Not the Governor. Not the teachers. And certainly not the students – especially Linda Hairston, daughter of the town’s most ardent segregationist. Sarah and Linda have every reason to despise each other. But as a school project forces them to spend time together, the less their differences seem to matter. And Sarah and Linda start to feel something they've never felt before. Something they're both determined ignore. Because it's one thing to be frightened by the world around you - and another thing altogether when you're terrified of what you feel inside.

Before even starting this book I knew it would be wonderful, it came highly recommended and every single time I mentioned it someone would say "Ah it's amazing!!" which is always a good sign. Also, I know you aren't meant judge a book by it's cover or whatever but when said cover has the quote "Even though she's a girl, even though she's coloured, I want to keep kissing Sarah forever." on it I reckon you're allowed to, right? I certainly did anyway, and I judged correctly because it was everything that I have ever needed from a book ever.

It follows the story of two girls in high school in America during the late 1950s, Sarah is one of the first black students to integrate into a previously all-white school whilst Linda is the daughter of a powerful man who is fighting to maintain segregation. Neither of them want to have anything to do with each other and they would both much rather things went back to the way they were before, despite the conditions of Sarah's previous school being much worse, the aggression that she and her friends must face everyday makes her wish she could go back, but she knows how important their perseverance is for all of their community.
Somehow Linda and Sarah end up working on a school project together, spending more time with each other than they would like, they spend their afternoons arguing about pretty much everything but gradually they both begin to change. Linda in particular starts to see that things aren't quite a clear-cut as her father has been telling her for her whole life and it's interesting to read her side of things - she has so many ideas about the way life "should" be and the way she makes excuses for how Sarah is "different to all the other black people" simply because she is intelligent is just, well, shocking really. Everything that Linda has been brought up and brainwashed into thinking about people of colour is truly irrational and ridiculous and it made me so so angry! Particularly so because whilst reading this you know that this isn't just a story, this happened and is continuing to happen to a certain extent to this day.

The way in which Lies We Tell Ourselves deals with the harsh reality of the racial issues whilst combining this with the story of two girls developing feelings for each other and realising they're not "normal" by their societies' terms is truly brilliant. Without spoiling completely, I just want to also express how much I loved that this wasn't all about coming out and being welcomed by your family or anything, it's somehow more subtle than that and it dealt with sexuality in a different way to most of the books that I've read before which I found quite refreshing.

Lies We Tell Ourselves was a wonderfully honest and diverse novel that I truly loved.

2016 : My year in books

So, here we are at the end of 2016, it's been a bit of a rollercoaster hasn't it! I'm pretending I'm okay with how quickly December 31st has come around!

In April of this year I started this blog and began my adventure into the bookish community. Although I've not posted as much as perhaps I would have liked to, coming into this community and being welcomed and supported by so many amazing people has been wonderful and I want to say a big thank you to everyone who's spoken to me in the last few months. Here's a big internet hug to all of you bookish pals.

So anyway, here's my wrap up for this year, my first year in books!

My five favourite reads this year

The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson - Dealing with gender, this has 100% taken my heart and the top spot as my favourite read of this year!! I can't put into to words how much I adored it but it was heart wrenching, educational and just so so beautiful! Please read it!!

When We Collided by Emery Lord - A fab book about loss and mental illness with a beautiful cover. It's a thoroughly enjoyable read with wonderful character's who you'll definitely fall in love with.

Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall - An honest account about agoraphobia, an illness I knew little about before reading this. This book has an amazing storyline, fabulous characters as well as raising awareness about mental illness which is something (obviously) very close to my heart.

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley - Woah f/f relationship in 1950s America between one of the first black girls in a previously all white school and the daughter of a man who is fighting integration!? This book is all I was looking for and more I absolutely adored it! A great book if you're looking for something with diversity.

Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff - If somehow you've managed to miss all of the excitement about this book in the last few months let me tell you right now that you have got read it!! I can't even begin to describe what makes this book so amazing but it is art.

A book that's been on my TBR since January and I still haven't read

Dracula by Bram Stoker - To be quiet honest it's been on my TBR for years now, but hopefully in the new year I'll finally start it! It's a classic and having read so many vamp books when I was about 13 it seems only right that I should read the original!

A book I didn't enjoy as much as everyone else

Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella - read my review for more but this book does not do justice to the issues faced by people with anxiety and in case you weren't already aware mental illness is not magically fixed by meeting a boy!!! I'm a bit apprehensive that people may read it and think that anxiety is as simple as that and a super quick fix when it isn't, but hopefully that won't be the case.

A book I wish I'd had chance to read

Faceless by Alyssa Sheinmel - The concept of this story (which is about a girl who receives a face transplant) intrigues me and I'm hoping all be able to get around to it quite quickly in the new year.

Books I'm looking forward to the most in 2017

Honestly I think this year is going to be so good for reading! A couple that I'm particularly excited about are It's Not Like It's a Secret by Misa Sugiura and The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. I'm aiming to read lots and lots of books that are as diverse as possible, and there seem to be more and more being published so I'm really excited for what the next year is going to bring!

So there it is, my year in books! Thank you for reading and to everyone who's made me feel so welcome this year- here's to another great year of reading next year!

Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall

Rating: 9/10
Published: 7th July 2016
Publisher: Chicken House
Pages: 272
Synopsis from Goodreads: Agoraphobia confines Norah to the house she shares with her mother.

For her, the outside is sky glimpsed through glass, or a gauntlet to run between home and car. But a chance encounter on the doorstep changes everything: Luke, her new neighbour. Norah is determined to be the girl she thinks Luke deserves: a ‘normal’ girl, her skies unfiltered by the lens of mental illness. Instead, her love and bravery opens a window to unexpected truths …

An important and uplifting debut from a British author, which tackles mental health issues such as agoraphobia and OCD.

As someone who is battling mental illness and isn't afraid to discuss it, reading a book as honest and heart-wenching as this is a pure joy. Under Rose-Tainted Skies truly manages to find the balance between a beautiful storyline and a painfully truthful depiction of life with mental illness. I went into this book with little knowledge about agoraphobia, despite being someone who strives to raise awareness about mental health issues, but the way in which Gornall describes Norah's struggles with both agoraphobia and OCD left me feeling a great deal more aware (and who doesn't love a book where they learn stuff right!?). Although I can't relate directly to the illness-specific issues which Norah faces in this book, the experiences of panic which are described are something that I can sympathise with. I struggle to understand how someone can manage to explain such an experience within a novel but Louise Gornall does it and she does it so well! It's a truly honest insight into what panic attacks can be like and I hope that everyone who reads this will go away with more understanding about what it is like to experience one (because they don't teach you that stuff in school and it's really important for people to understand!).

The main character Norah is a teen who is dependent on the Internet as her access to the world outside of her room. She only leaves the house to visit her therapist and even this is a huge struggle for her. As we meet her she has just seen that she has a new neighbour, called Luke, she is immediately curious about him but it's incredibly difficult to meet someone when you have the problems that she does. Gradually Luke manages to work his way into Norah's life, despite the huge number of doubts which Norah experiences, and Norah is left to consider factors that she's never needed to give any thought to before now.
It has been quite sometime since I have encountered a character that I love as much Norah, she is so incredibly strong and despite all of the enormous problems that she faces daily she continues to fight. Reading about her courage and bravery throughout Under Rose-Tainted Skies has truly inspired me with my own struggles.

The highlight of this book for me is the fact that this isn't just a book about a girl with mental illness who meets a boy and is suddenly able to overcome the issues which have been controlling her life for years. It's a book about the struggles that come with trying to have relationships, platonic or otherwise, when you are battling mental illness, the difficulties that you face constantly within your own mind which do not go away when you meet someone new, regardless of how intriguing and exciting they are. A concept that it is so important for society to understand.

This book was an absolute joy to read, I whizzed through it eager to see what would happen next and I was never disappointed! Under Rose-Tainted Skies is a beautifully sincere depiction of agoraphobia but it is also so much more than that, it's an amazing book with an amazing storyline and characters that you will definitely fall in love with (Norah's mum is my absolute fave!). I cannot wait to see what Louise Gornall has got to come if this debut is anything to go by. Fantastic!

Asexuality 101

A beginners guide to being asexual, common misconceptions and things never to say to an asexual.

The asexual flag.

Firstly I must start this post with a disclaimer- this is all based upon my own knowledge and experience, if anyone reads this and thinks I'm incorrect on anything then please do let me know. I will use the terms 'asexual' and 'ace' interchangeably in case you wonder what I'm on about and I'm adding a potential trigger warning here just in case because I will be mentioning sex and similar throughout (not graphically so).

By definition asexuality is quite simply a lack of sexual attraction towards other people, this is often seen as being on three different 'levels': sex positive, sex neutral and sex repulsed. It is up to the individual to decide whether they choose to place themselves on one of these or not. I identify as sex repulsed meaning that the idea of having sex makes me feel really uncomfortable and it is not something that I have any desire to experience any time soon, but I'm just one person and this isn't the same for everyone who identifies as ace.

Being asexual does not mean that you are against having sex; that you have no libido nor does it mean that you do not or will not ever have sex.
Asexuals are fully capable of feeling aroused and experiencing pleasure and enjoyment through sexual encounters because we are humans too. It purely relates to the act of sexual attraction towards others, not the natural functioning of the human body!

Asexuals are fully capable of being in successful romantic (and sexual) relationships just like everybody else and their romantic attraction is a separate thing. A quick side note: romantic attraction is seeing others as potential romantic partners, this does not necessarily mean wanting to have sex with them; some people do not experience romantic attraction (this is known as being aromantic) and some asexuals identify as this too (often shortened to aro ace), but the two things do not always go hand in hand. It is very important to remember that romantic relationships can be successful without sex and that relationships should not dependent on the presence of sex or similar.

Sexuality and asexuality are viewed as being on two ends of a spectrum, anywhere between the two 'poles' is known as grey asexuality (sometimes shortened to grey-A or grey ace); this is where people experience sexual attraction sometimes but not always, it can vary from very rarely experiencing it to experiencing most of the time and only occasionally not doing so.
Another branch of asexuality is demisexuality, this is when someone only experiences sexual attraction when they develop a close emotional bond with a person. So they do not initially see someone as sexually attractive, it is a feeling that only comes with time.

To end this post, here are some misconceptions about asexuality which I have encountered and things that I would warn you never to say to an ace person:

• "Asexuals can only date other asexuals." NOPE any loving and accepting person will respect you for who you are sex or no sex (and this stands for whether you are ace or not). Never let anybody convince you that being asexual is a problem or that it makes you undateable. It does not! People who say these things are not worth your time, your sexuality is valid!
• "Oh so you're asexual, does that mean you're a virgin?" Back off pal, not experiencing sexual attraction does not give others the right to ask you personal questions just because they're nosey!
• "You're just confused, once you have sex you'll change your mind." Please just stop right there, it's offensive and as I've said the sex isn't the thing that makes you ace in the first place so just no. Also, I was confused as hell about who I was before I learnt about asexuality and I have come so far in accepting myself since then, all because I could finally understand that I wasn't alone and that it isn't something wrong with me.
• If someone tells you that they are asexual please do not try and 'make them feel better' with an anecdote such as "Oh don't worry, me and my boyfriend don't have sex every time we meet up." (yes, someone actually said this to me), we do not need comforting! Being asexual is not a bad thing, it just means you are different and that's cool! And also, I mean, what does that story even have to do with anything?

So in summary (or in case you can't be bothered to read all that):

• asexuals are individuals who do not experience sexual attraction
• we are fully capable of being in relationships and being ace does not mean that we won't have sex (that's dependent on the person)
• we don't always like being asked personal questions and our asexuality is not a reason to let you interrogate us
• asexuality is real and it does not need fixing!!! 

And there we have it, my complete ramblings, an asexuality 101. I really hope this is helpful and educates people and if you have any questions or you feel I've not explained something well enough let me know and I'll be very happy to chat things through.

Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella

Rating: 5/10

Upon starting this book I was apprehensive, I picked it up from the local library on a whim. I had previously looked at it and been somewhat put off by the fact that it sounds like a girl who's mental illness is "fixed" when she meets a boy- something which is quite obviously both offensive and frustrating because it is not that simple! To a certain extent my initial thoughts were proven to be true but I did enjoy Finding Audrey more that I thought I would.

It follows the life of Audrey who is struggling with anxiety disorders and depressive episodes, she left school following an incident (which we never really get to understand) with several classmates which lead to a breakdown. When we meet her she only leaves the house to go to see her therapist and she wears dark sunglasses at all times to avoid eye contact. Audrey's progress in recovery improves when she meets a friend of her brother, named Linus, he challenges her to face her issues and encourages her along the way. Of course, mental health recovery is a difficult journey and as far as Audrey is concerned she has lots of other problems to deal with, not just regarding her mental health but with all aspects of her life.

The book is split between first person narrative and extracts of screen plays from recordings that Dr Sarah, Audrey's therapist, has asked her to make of her life. It focuses a great deal on her family- both parents and two brothers- and the goings on in their home. Somewhat, I think to the detriment of actually getting to know what Audrey herself is like, we get an insight into her family home and the tensions there. There is a lot description of the discussions between her older brother and her mum, who believes he spends too much time on computers (because the Daily Mail told her so) and it almost feels as though they are the forefront of the story, which isn't what I expected but does result in some very entertaining scenes.

I did enjoy this book but I feel that it lacks something that many other books covering the topic of mental illness have managed to grasp. Audrey is suddenly able to overcome her social anxiety when Linus challenges her to do something, even though she had only been making slow progress before meeting him which, as I mentioned, is so annoying and unrealistic! It was a fun read, it did make me laugh, and the development of family dynamics was a joy, but Finding Audrey failed to deliver on the area of mental health issues, which was the main purpose of the book in the first place!

Overall I would recommend Finding Audrey if you're looking for something quick and fun to read this summer but don't expect to come out of it feeling as though you are enlightened on what life with anxiety disorders is like, because it truly does not give as much insight as it could have done. An enjoyable book that, sadly, didn't quite fill the criteria that I was looking for.