In case you hadn't noticed I've not been around much lately, and what little presence online I have had has largely been grumpy and for that I apologise. I'm trying to edge myself back into things a little, particularly as I have some fabulous looking proofs that need reading and reviewing :) Anyway, I asked Twitter and generally people said they'd be interested in an update on my life so here we are.
Brief summary for those who don't know: I graduated this summer, moved home to Suffolk and basically everything got a bit difficult. Things have generally taken an upward turn in the last few weeks as I finally started a job, it's only in a cinema and that's still enough to cause me a considerable amount of anxiety (and for me to question if the degree was worth it) but hey, I'm going outside, I'm meeting new people and eventually I'll actually get a little bit of money too! For a while I was finding it exceptionally hard to read or do anything I enjoy, while I couldn't find a job I felt unable to even begin to allow myself to do anything fun, because I wasn't employable and therefore didn't deserve it.
It's not an easy thing to explain, but that's just how things were. So now that I'm finally edging my way out and towards a slightly better routine, I'm trying to start reading etc again. For many people, spending days doing what you enjoy when you don't have anything on is brilliant, but that's just not how I am. I'm somehow unable to even allow myself to chill in front of the TV for more than one episode a day, all I can do it walk around feeling lost and like I'm wasting my time. And even now that I'm working, getting myself out of that is surprisingly difficult.
I've still got a lot of adjusting to do, it's hard not having many friends here, not having anywhere to go or anyone to talk to about books (or anything fun for that matter). But I'm gradually making progress, and alongside that I'm finally turning pages again. I'm looking forward to what the future may bring, but it is taking a long time for that spark in the things that I'm passionate about to come back, which is why I'm not really tweeting, because I don't have that excitement at the moment and I don't want to fake things or half arse it, books and all my followers deserve better than that!
Anyway, that's where I'm at now and hopefully you'll be hearing gradually more from me throughout the coming weeks. If anyone relates to what I'm saying and has any tips about meeting people, adjusting or getting motivated again, please do leave me a comment, dm me on Twitter or send me an email.
Thanks to every single reader and follower for your patience with me and I hope to be the proper, healthy and happy me very soon.
Sar xox
